Worries

My weekend was anything but restful. Edwin and I had to take Jianna to the doctor last Saturday to have her eye checked. Her lower eyelid was enflamed and I was worried that it might be something more serious than it appears. Thankfully, Dr. Kho did not find anything more serious to the inflammation and prescribed an anti-bacterial opthalmic solution. This was the second time that Jianna's lids got inflamed in the last two weeks. I know I was on my frantic self mode but Jianna rarely gets sick (thanks to breastfeeding!) and when she does, I go on frantic to panic mode quite easily. Edwin did not even want to go the hospital because she might get infected will all the diseases there. With the A(H1N1) scare, even going to the doctor seemed more dangerous than a lower lid inflammation. But I decided that Edwin and I have to brave the scare and take her because the swelling is bothering her and if it's contagious, it might also infect Lelilalia. After two drops of the solution, the swelling has gone down and to make sure it does not transfer to the next eye, we also had the right eye medicated.

Sweating It Out for Health and Beauty

I just came from a sweaty session from the gym and the exercise boosted not only my energy but also my vanity. I'm hoping to lose pounds and inches from Boyet's aero dancing sessions even if I have to suffer looking at my fat bounce up and down in the mirror. As some of my husband's driver friends pointed out, Edwin is still young and handsome, and there are probably scores of ladies falling in line behind my back, waiting for me to grow old and wither. Those hurtful remarks, and at times, insults, made me roused from my lofty post of wifehood and see that indeed I have whilst away my youth (if you can call it that).

First step is to accept that I am FAT. I saw pictures of myself when I first started out in DA and saw Lana the "niwang". I had to admit that although I was slimmer then, I never enjoyed dressing up to show off my trim (?) body because I never felt the need to. When I was in college,
fashion was never a word in Xavier Aggies and I guess I was used to jeans and shirt. Imagine wrestling a cow in high heels and mini skirt. The cow would probably laugh so hard it would come down to the ground by itself. And there was no one I want to show it off to.

Next is searching for a right supplement to help me in my quest for an ultimate makeover. I found out that Fitrum suited me. I used to go on various tested diets but they never seem to worked on me. Fitrum and reduced rice intake ( from 1 1/2 cups of rice to half cup) showed good results after 3 months. It took longer for me because my budget only allow 1 capsule of Fitrum a day as compared to 2-3 capsules a day for some.

Third is trying to reduce more and keeping my weight within level. It's a constant battle and there are times when I can't deny a slice of cake or two or a mug of ice cream. But through all my weight and fat problems, Edwin never did once told me that I don't look good or that he does not like seeing me fat. Love surely is not vain and Edwin not blind.

Maja Tropicana

After giving birth to 2 kids, I kissed my 24 inches waistline goodbye. Although I would never trade my daughters to a slim waist, vanity dictates that I at least try to bring my waistline down to 30 inches. It's now down to 30 inches and my brain has to constantly poke my stomach to make it remember not to eat every food that it encounters. Actually, its the "free" food from leftover caterings and meetings and birthdays that are much harder to say no to. When the "free" food is shared among friends, saying no to it then becomes a disgrace. One could count the number of slim ladies in the office as they are only a few as opposed to those that have enjoyed through feasting the stress and low pay in the Department of Agriculture.

When one loves to eat, one should know how to cook. For women, men who are at home in the kitchen as well as in the bedroom are hard to come by, and are a dying breed. These rare breed of men will go instinct in a few years to be replaced by men who are skilled in calling for takeouts and opening a pack of Lucky Me pancit canton.

In case you're wondering where this litany is going, here is the recipe of the Maja Tropicana care of Del Monte Kitchenomics. You can replace the fruit cocktail with mashed kalabasa to make it more nutritious for the kids. I can't find a pic to post to show you all what it looks life but I'll make sure to have my cam ready when I get to cooking it.

For aspiring mommy chefs, you will need:

1 pc buko, shredded (reserve buko water)
1 cup cornstarch, dissolved in 1-1/2 cups water
1-1/2 cups of buko water
1 cup evaporated milk
1/2 cup sugar
1 can (439 g) Del Monte Fiesta fruit cocktail, drained

To make it:

1. Combine cornstarch mixture, buko water and milk. Cook over medium heat with constant stirring for 30 minutes or until thick. To make this cooking session romantic, ask your Fafas to do the painstaking task of stirring the mixture. Once it starts to thicken, our dainty hands will need our Fafas strong hands.

2. Add sugar, buko and Del Monte fiesta fruit cocktail. Blend well. Pour into 7"x 7" pan. Cool, then chill until set. Slice into desired shapes. Remember to watch the refrigerator in case over- eager hands of daughters and husband try to take a taste before it's ready.

Cooking for me gets to be more rewarding when the family eats together what I've prepared. And much more if it is shared with those whose stomachs are brave enough. I'm just fortunate that Edwin has learned to hold his tongue when my latest cooking experiment will test even his love for me. So, ladies to do the kitchen!!!

Reading, anyone?

I love to read not just to improve my vocabulary but more importantly to relax. You see, when I read, I am transported to another world of romance, adventure, drama and suspense. I particularly love to read romance novels and usually do not bother to check who the author is as long as I like the book.

The age of E-books have become a fancy among book worms like me. Close friends send me e-copies of books they have read which they know I would also like. When I was in elementary, my favorites were the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series. I often imagined myself solving crimes alongside Nancy or beat the Hardy Boys in discovering clues to solve the puzzles. Highschool saw me reading Mills and Boons and Harlequin Romances. I also fell in love with the Scottish warriors and their feisty ladies as well as the knights-in-shining-armor- type love stories. Reading then was my escape from the harshness of puberty and highschool life.

The strains of college forced me to concentrate on reading biochemistry and math books rather than Daniel Steel. But I discovered that the halls of the Xavier University Library is a treasure trove of Leon Uris, Robert Ludlum and Tom Clancy collections. I would go the Fiction Section and be lost in the world of espionage, betrayal, suspense and death.

When it became a fashion to turn bestseller books to movies, I thought that it might work. I saw the Dan Brown Da Vinci Code movie and was unsatisfied. The movie failed to capture the thrill of the book version and left out some details that are essential to the story. Those that did not read the book do not share my thoughts and were content with the way the movie was done. But for those like me that read the book first before watching the movie largely decided that the movie did not do justice to the book.

I hope that my children will inherit my love for reading because literature is not limited to only prose and poetry but also to Pugad Baboy.

Hanggang

A song writer, Ron, was on the Wowee show a few weeks back for a special game. His hit song, "Hanggang", should be every lover or couple's theme song. He shared that the song was for his wife who contantly needed to be assured of his love for her. Because he got tired of answering to his wife's questions of how much he loves her, he decided to write a song one night to encompass all that he feels for her.

The song is simple but every line clearly resonates with the writer's emotions. Can anything be sweeter than love in a song? When Jed Madela sang it for the audience, I fell in love with the song. Lke any other woman, I also have my share of insecurities. When I got married,part of those insecurities were dashed out by Edwin's love. But once in a while my insecurities bubbles up and I need to be assured of my worth. Edwin's love is that assurance and the song "Hanggang" is Edwin's love in a song.

Ilang ulit mo bang, itinatanong sakin
kung hanggang saan,hanggang saan, hanggang kailan,
hanggang kailan mag tatagal,
ang aking pag mamahal,

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig,
dito sa aking daig-dig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay,
ika'y iniibig
giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin,
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal

hanggang ang diwa ko'y
tanging sayo laan
mamahalin kailanman
hanggang pag ibig ko'y
hanggang walang hanggan
tanging ikaw lamang

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa aking daig-dig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
ika'y iniibig
giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal

hanggang may puso akong
marunong mag mahal
na ang sinisigaw ay lagi ng ikaw
hanggang saan hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan kita mahal
hanggang ang buhay ko'y
kunin ng may kapal

giliw wag mo sanang isipin
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
hanggang may pag ibig
laging isisigaw, tanging ikaw
hanggang may pag ibig
laging isisigaw, tanging ikaw

Sacrifices

In life, we have to make sacrifices not just for ourselves but for others you love more than your own. Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross so that we may live and experience His love. Although we may not make sacrifices as holy as Jesus did, our sacrifices become just as profound when we do it for love and for the greater good.

There are sacrifices that are necessary and there are those that we do willingly for our marriage, our children, our family and our friends. At times we bitterly cry because the sacrifices become too big and we want to let go. And then we realized that letting go is more than the sacrifice itself.

Before I got married, I’m used to having it my way. My independence and, admittedly, my stubbornness are products of my years of trying to get out of my "middle child syndrome". When I got married to Edwin, I found out that for our marriage to work, there has to be interdependence and not selfish independence. That stubbornness must give way to selfless compromise. Marriage is a lot of work and we have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices that you need not lose your identity and self but sacrifices that makes you whole. Love and respect and happiness are worth more than any sacrifice.

A Song for Edwin

I would like to share a song that encompasses all that I feel for the one person who has stood by me through all my ups and downs and through the times when I thought that giving up is the only way to solve all my problems; who has shared with me 2 lovely daughters who more than complete us.

Edwin, you are my sun and moonlight. Some people may say that I do not deserve you and your love but the angels in heaven has heard my heart's plea and gave you to me. I love you and you pour strength into me just by holding my hand. Here is my song for you…

"Inside Your Heaven"

I’ve been down
Now I’m blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it’s so amazing
Everytime I see you I’m alive
You’re all I’ve got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathin’ in
A soothin’ wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
If mountains fall, I’ll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die
And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathin’ in
A soothin’ wind
I wanna be inside your heaven
Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven