Writing Again

I seem to have developed a trend in my blog.  I rest for a few months from writing and go at it again when I feel like it.  My hiatus usually lasts from 2 months to a year.  So, whats new?

Gabrielle, or Gabby  for short, just turned one year old last March 5.  Gabby may have been unplanned because Edwin and I have already decided after Jianna not to have another baby.  But God sprung a miracle on us last year and after going through the basic motions of infancy, is now a healthy, albeit quiet strong willed, tot.  Her yaya, Gagang, calls Gabby her "Mutya" from the ABS-CBN fantaserye.  Gabby is adorable when shes not hungry or wanting to go out.  She was used to Grace bringing her outdoors even at 6am in the morning that when she does not get her morning "laag", beware!

Leilalia harvested K1's medals and more last March 26, 2011.  Edwin and I were proudly surprised when her name was called after the teacher caught her breath from enumerating all her medals.  Of course, the proud Lola announced that Ate got her brains from her.  No contest or else.

Jianna may have not gotten a medal that day but she got 3 ribbons that also made us very proud.  Jianna has improved so much since starting school last September that her finishing the school year even without any ribbon would have been okay with us .  The therapy helped her but the socialization and love of teachers at the Mindanao Christ Gospel Academy was even better than any therapy.

Rebond. Bongga

I'm sporting a new hair cut and style and the worls courtesy of Ate Llani.  Last Saturday, Sandra from a salon in CDO came to the house to fix my hair.  My curls were straightened out rebond way and got waxed and colored.  When I came to the office this morning, people commented on my new hair.  I look younger they say.  Unfortunately, I do't get nice comments on my figure because of my excess weight.  May be my new hair will inspire me more to trim down to complement my hair.

Missing Home

I'll be leaving for Davao in a few minutes to attend an MRDP activity.  I will be away for 3 long nights and 4 long days from my 3 chikiting patrol.  I was close to tears when I left the house this morning.  Diday and Jianna may be old enough to understand that I sometimes have to go travels for work but it does not make my leaving any easier.  Gabby was content to play with her toys in her cbrib and rolling around the space with her hotdog pillows.  I'll miss my daughters while I'm in Davao.  Edwin is also on travel.  He left yesterday for Bukidnon and won't be back until Thursday night.  I already informed my mom that Edwin and I are both away and she promised to drop by the house to check on the kids.  I'm confident Grace can take care of the children but there are times that Gabby can be cranky and be a handful.  Edwin's relatives are also around to help and when I called Grace, she told me that Auntie Edna was the one who bought Gabby's cerelac for her.  Thanks God for family.

Pinays Work Longer Hours Than Pinoys - ILO

I got this article from the Department of Budget and Management.  This is so true!  We women are masters in multi-tasking.

This role reversal - Filipino women working longer than their male counterparts - showed that two of three Filipino women workers are more likely to work over 64 hours per week. The phenomena is driven largely by the expansion of the services sector which tends to employ more women than men.

Impact on Women. While longer working hours mean being able to help make ends meet, it has a considerable effect on women's health and on time spent with the family. A major concern relative to the situation is that women, in addition to their paid work, also engage in unpaid domestic tasks such as taking care of the children and of sick members of the family.

Work-Family Equilibrium.Attaining a balance between career and family and alleviating women's 'multiple burden' need to be confronted at all levels. The study provides certain policy points to vance decent work/ working time which include the reduction of long working hours to lessen the risk of occupational injuries and illnesses; the adoption of family-friendly working time measures, i.e., flexi-time, emergency family leave, part-time work, etc.; and the adoption of reasonable statutory hours, among others.

While these measures may help workers devote more time for their families, these do not provide answers to women's multiple burden.This is a more difficult challenge that could be adressed at the cultural/ societal level.

A Shared Responsibility. Promotion of shared responsibility ( between men and women) in the household and family care could greatly alleviate women's load in the household. However, this is easier said than done. Cultural biases and the stereotyped role of women as homemakers somehow impede men's greater participation in domestic work ( such as caring for children, housekeeping, etc.)

To help break the cultural biases and traditional gender division of labor, and ensure men's equal share in household responsibilities, both men and women should be made aware of the unequal relationship between them through gender awareness and sensitivity.

Institutions of mass socialization such as media and formal education, if used well, can be agents of societal, cultural change. As a start, books depicting women as homemakers and men as income-earners should be revised to avoid sexism.

Though it may take some time to attain gender equality, efforts to eliminate the gender gap have been provided in the government's national budget to address gender issues and concerns. Non-government organizations and other civic groups are also vigorously pursuing gender-related initiatives.

Going 8 Years With All the Humps and Bumps Along the Way

Edwin and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary on November 15.  At 3 pm 7 years ago, I vowed to love and hold, in richness and in poor, in sickness and in health, till death Edwin and I do part.  I don't remember much of the ceremony because my mind was too preoccupied with wedding worries and mentally counting if the number of guests who came are within our budget.  No wonder rich brides hire wedding coordinators and pass to them the hassles of the preparations.  Simple brides like I was then took on the challenges of the preparations like a kamikaze warrior.  But grand weddings do not equate happy endings.  The expensive wedding video cannot hold captive the appreciation of suffering marriages.  Better make the wedding simple so that the stress of the wedding do not stress the actual marriage.

The precana seminars bulleted the stages of marriage quite perfectly.  The first stage we all agree is honeymoon.  The period of bliss and happiness.  Where burnt hotdogs and soggy vegetables are acceptable and does not get you in hot water.  When the honeymoon stage is over, misery follows.  We become miserable because couples fall into a pattern.  We do not have time for each other because our time is consumed by work, taking care of the children and from keeping ourselves sane.  When we do not address misery, hurt and anger set in.  We fight over things we deem important when they are not.  We fight because the other did not pay cepalco and got the electricity cut.  We fight because the husband got so used to seeing the wife around that she became the cabinet .  When we have used up all our energies and nothing is left but acceptance.  When we have accepted, we begin to trust and love again.

Edwin and I have gone past the honeymoon stage and we are on the next volatile stage.  Our marriage is showing signs of strains and the many stresses we have been through.  I told Edwin last night that I miss the talks we used to have when the world was still dark and the night has kept the worries for the next day at bay.      We still have many years to go and I hope to spend each year in anticipation of the next.  A friend of mine said that when the initial glitters has faded, real love sets in.  I hope your right, Tan.

Being Poor Is A Bitch

I used to think that when I get my degree and get a job, I'd be one of those yuppies I read in books and magazines whose careers take them around the world and conquer it.  Yep I got my degree and I got a job but I did not conquer the world.  I haven't even been outside the country and the travels in a few places around the country were not I would call dazzling or remotely conquering.  And the pay is the usual government low.  In sum, my career sucks and I'm poor with debts accumulated through the years bringing me lower.

Edwin would say that I have low EQ when I start to grumble and envy my friends who have careers that are to die for.  I'm not worldly and I am best at home but there are times that I want to go out with friends and family but can't because it would be better to save the cost for milk, fish, meat and other necessities.  Having no money is such a bitch and it becomes worst when there are health emergencies and there are no food to eat.  When I gave birth I promised to provide everything for my child but it looks like that I'm reneging on my promise.  Simply because there is not enough money for even the basic necessities.  The phrase "Isang Kahig Isang Tuka" literally describes what is happening. 

And yet there are people like me in government service that are receiving more than a whole division.  I don't how they can wake up each day and face the mirror when a lot of us had to resort to borrowing money with usurious interest from Bombays because our salaries are not enough to provide for our children.  Being poor is really is a bitch.

On the Road Again

I have a full schedule for the next 2 weeks to catch up with MRDP backlog activities.  I'll be on the road most of the next 2 weeks to conduct trainings and focus group discussions.  I don't know if I can do all the planned activities but I refuse to score 0 in the World Bank Mission Review report.  Call it pride but I want to stand up confident during the Mission Review because I've accomplished something.  RPCO 10 have always been praised by previous review missions because of the number of project accomplishments.  And to score 0 this September is like a slap in the face.

Aside from my stressful work schedule, I have also been unhappy since Monday because I am not Edwin's most favorite person right now.  Edwin and I had a misunderstanding last Monday night all because of pancit.  Mama Lil ordered pancit canton guisado for her apos and gave it to Edwin when he drove them home.  When Edwin got back from Camaman-an, he gave the pancit to me and left for baskeball practice.  He thought I went home ahead so that the kids can enjoy the pancit pasalubong.  But I was still in the office working.  When he got back from practice, he said something about the pancit that got my sensibilities haywired and I reacted.  Suffice to say, he did not like my reaction and said so and that got me defending myself again and made both of us angry.  I slept alone in our bed that night.  We are not on speaking terms since then.    They say arguments add spice to marriage life but when arguments make you sleep alone at nigh without the hugs and kisses, I'd rather not have any kind of spices on my marriage.

Enjoying the Holiday

It's Friday and its a holiday.  Hurray!!!I came home from Davao late last night.  Long road trips are tiresome and this is one of those trips.  The trip took longer than we expected because of unnecessary stops.  It was good that after the BUDA Quarantine stop, our team decided to go ahead rather than wait for the other vehicle in our convoy. Taking stress-laden work travels always make me long for home as soon as I get to the workshop venue.  Although I often grumble and complain on this and that, I always do my part and follow through my commitment for the project.  Even my Director commented that I am very passionate with the project.

I enjoy traveling especially if its paid by the office.  Although the work when you get to the destination is stressful, being away from the 4 corners of the office is a relief.  I've limited my travels to conduct of trainings and less on project monitoring because of Gabby.  I want to be home for the kids as much as I can.  Before I got pregnant last year, I'm often on the road Monday to Friday and whenever I get home on Friday nights, I marvel on my kids' progress and feel guilty of all the new things that I missed.  I got the chance to see Gabby use the walker this morning and saw how delighted she is with the contraption.  My children are growing up so fast and everyday Edwin and I miss a part of their development.  The price we pay for working parents.

Although its a holiday, Edwin is at work for the early part of the morning to meet JSR at the airport.  The downside of  being in government service is that you are not exempted from working on a holiday or the weekends.  True civil servants are over worked,  underpaid and over taxed.  Senate hearings on the extravagant GOCC bonuses and salaries make me sad because our meager incentives in the office have to go through strict audit and review by COA and these incentives are taxed accordingly so that we cannot be accused of cheating the government.  But here comes these GOCC executives who do not feel any remorse from receiving extravagant bonuses while the rest of the Filipino people suffer in poverty and in hunger.

Its already lunch and I haven't cooked yet.  Better end my blog.