I just came to a startling conclusion. I am old. I do not only feel old but I also look old.
The stress brought by work pressure has gotten to me and the constant battle of money troubles is making me feel depressed. Edwin told me while we were on our way to work this morning that my eyes have lost their sparkle and my movements were slow and totally opposite my usual self. I used to cover my problems and depressions with lots of smiles and laughs but lately, its getting harder to pretend that everything is okay and just dandy.
I easily get angry even with Edwin and the kids and its making me feel guilty because my loved ones do not deserve my anger. People at work are demanding a lot from me and the pressure of trying to meet their expectations is taking its toll on my health and well-being. Sometimes, I wish I can just drop everything and escape to a cave where I can rest and re-evaluate my life. I envy those that seem to breeze through life's hardships. Admittedly, my faith has not been as strong as before because I often forget to entrust to God my life and all its hardships and joys. It's just so hard to let go but deep inside I know that when I let go, I also let go of my troubles.
No comments:
Post a Comment