Going 8 Years With All the Humps and Bumps Along the Way

Edwin and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary on November 15.  At 3 pm 7 years ago, I vowed to love and hold, in richness and in poor, in sickness and in health, till death Edwin and I do part.  I don't remember much of the ceremony because my mind was too preoccupied with wedding worries and mentally counting if the number of guests who came are within our budget.  No wonder rich brides hire wedding coordinators and pass to them the hassles of the preparations.  Simple brides like I was then took on the challenges of the preparations like a kamikaze warrior.  But grand weddings do not equate happy endings.  The expensive wedding video cannot hold captive the appreciation of suffering marriages.  Better make the wedding simple so that the stress of the wedding do not stress the actual marriage.

The precana seminars bulleted the stages of marriage quite perfectly.  The first stage we all agree is honeymoon.  The period of bliss and happiness.  Where burnt hotdogs and soggy vegetables are acceptable and does not get you in hot water.  When the honeymoon stage is over, misery follows.  We become miserable because couples fall into a pattern.  We do not have time for each other because our time is consumed by work, taking care of the children and from keeping ourselves sane.  When we do not address misery, hurt and anger set in.  We fight over things we deem important when they are not.  We fight because the other did not pay cepalco and got the electricity cut.  We fight because the husband got so used to seeing the wife around that she became the cabinet .  When we have used up all our energies and nothing is left but acceptance.  When we have accepted, we begin to trust and love again.

Edwin and I have gone past the honeymoon stage and we are on the next volatile stage.  Our marriage is showing signs of strains and the many stresses we have been through.  I told Edwin last night that I miss the talks we used to have when the world was still dark and the night has kept the worries for the next day at bay.      We still have many years to go and I hope to spend each year in anticipation of the next.  A friend of mine said that when the initial glitters has faded, real love sets in.  I hope your right, Tan.