Being Poor Is A Bitch

I used to think that when I get my degree and get a job, I'd be one of those yuppies I read in books and magazines whose careers take them around the world and conquer it.  Yep I got my degree and I got a job but I did not conquer the world.  I haven't even been outside the country and the travels in a few places around the country were not I would call dazzling or remotely conquering.  And the pay is the usual government low.  In sum, my career sucks and I'm poor with debts accumulated through the years bringing me lower.

Edwin would say that I have low EQ when I start to grumble and envy my friends who have careers that are to die for.  I'm not worldly and I am best at home but there are times that I want to go out with friends and family but can't because it would be better to save the cost for milk, fish, meat and other necessities.  Having no money is such a bitch and it becomes worst when there are health emergencies and there are no food to eat.  When I gave birth I promised to provide everything for my child but it looks like that I'm reneging on my promise.  Simply because there is not enough money for even the basic necessities.  The phrase "Isang Kahig Isang Tuka" literally describes what is happening. 

And yet there are people like me in government service that are receiving more than a whole division.  I don't how they can wake up each day and face the mirror when a lot of us had to resort to borrowing money with usurious interest from Bombays because our salaries are not enough to provide for our children.  Being poor is really is a bitch.

On the Road Again

I have a full schedule for the next 2 weeks to catch up with MRDP backlog activities.  I'll be on the road most of the next 2 weeks to conduct trainings and focus group discussions.  I don't know if I can do all the planned activities but I refuse to score 0 in the World Bank Mission Review report.  Call it pride but I want to stand up confident during the Mission Review because I've accomplished something.  RPCO 10 have always been praised by previous review missions because of the number of project accomplishments.  And to score 0 this September is like a slap in the face.

Aside from my stressful work schedule, I have also been unhappy since Monday because I am not Edwin's most favorite person right now.  Edwin and I had a misunderstanding last Monday night all because of pancit.  Mama Lil ordered pancit canton guisado for her apos and gave it to Edwin when he drove them home.  When Edwin got back from Camaman-an, he gave the pancit to me and left for baskeball practice.  He thought I went home ahead so that the kids can enjoy the pancit pasalubong.  But I was still in the office working.  When he got back from practice, he said something about the pancit that got my sensibilities haywired and I reacted.  Suffice to say, he did not like my reaction and said so and that got me defending myself again and made both of us angry.  I slept alone in our bed that night.  We are not on speaking terms since then.    They say arguments add spice to marriage life but when arguments make you sleep alone at nigh without the hugs and kisses, I'd rather not have any kind of spices on my marriage.

Enjoying the Holiday

It's Friday and its a holiday.  Hurray!!!I came home from Davao late last night.  Long road trips are tiresome and this is one of those trips.  The trip took longer than we expected because of unnecessary stops.  It was good that after the BUDA Quarantine stop, our team decided to go ahead rather than wait for the other vehicle in our convoy. Taking stress-laden work travels always make me long for home as soon as I get to the workshop venue.  Although I often grumble and complain on this and that, I always do my part and follow through my commitment for the project.  Even my Director commented that I am very passionate with the project.

I enjoy traveling especially if its paid by the office.  Although the work when you get to the destination is stressful, being away from the 4 corners of the office is a relief.  I've limited my travels to conduct of trainings and less on project monitoring because of Gabby.  I want to be home for the kids as much as I can.  Before I got pregnant last year, I'm often on the road Monday to Friday and whenever I get home on Friday nights, I marvel on my kids' progress and feel guilty of all the new things that I missed.  I got the chance to see Gabby use the walker this morning and saw how delighted she is with the contraption.  My children are growing up so fast and everyday Edwin and I miss a part of their development.  The price we pay for working parents.

Although its a holiday, Edwin is at work for the early part of the morning to meet JSR at the airport.  The downside of  being in government service is that you are not exempted from working on a holiday or the weekends.  True civil servants are over worked,  underpaid and over taxed.  Senate hearings on the extravagant GOCC bonuses and salaries make me sad because our meager incentives in the office have to go through strict audit and review by COA and these incentives are taxed accordingly so that we cannot be accused of cheating the government.  But here comes these GOCC executives who do not feel any remorse from receiving extravagant bonuses while the rest of the Filipino people suffer in poverty and in hunger.

Its already lunch and I haven't cooked yet.  Better end my blog.